When i was younger I used to watch a black british youtuber. His videos were quite hilarious. The thing was he would say the n word but with the a at the end. I am a white girl. As a young teen (like 15) i knew that the n word wasnt ok but i had thought that when quoting a youtuber it would be ok since i wasnt using it at anyone or in a hateful way. Of course i quickly realized that even though i just quoted it to a friend and sibling i was still perpetuating racism. I quickly stopped and havent said it since. But it still eats me up inside. I feel terrible for contributing to that.