I could barely get my pants down and sit on the toilet before the explosion of feces came. The crackle of s*** exiting the a*** gave way to a sensation of near-total evacuation. Straining to eject the last drop of excrement however, my vagus nerve fired and I suddenly felt dizzy. The last thing I remember is the tile floor moving towards my face. I awoke minutes later on the floor, my pants wrapped around my ankles and a filthy stew of stinking s*** and urine in the toilet bowl. My a** needed wiping.