Ever since I became a teenager I have hated life. I wish I wasn’t born, I wish I could just die already. The reason I can’t do it myself is because I don’t want my parents or anyone else to feel like they could have done something to prevent that from happening. My parents and other people in my life is amazing and the way I feel is not any of their fault.
I ruined my own life by being too shy and never getting any friends. I ruined my own life for not working out and doing something so I could be prettier. I did it all myself and I don’t know how to change it. I’m too scared to talk to people and too scared to work out infront of people. I don’t know how I could lose weight and get prettier so I’m just trying my best to get by for the people in my life.
So I am living for everyone else but myself. I go to school so my parents won’t get worried. I wake up everyday for my parents, but never for myself. I don’t have any reason to wake up or continue life.
As I have said I’m not pretty or the best person ever so I don’t think I ever deserve to have friends or get a boyfriend. I don’t think I could live life so much longer being all alone.
I’m lonely everyday and it hurts. I will celebrate my 18th birthday all alone and I will probably cry a lot. I just wish an accident could happen to me, maybe one that ends me.
