I feel like I’m too good at faking happiness these days. People think I’m getting better, but I can only smile so easily now because I’ve stopped trying and just accepted that I’m going to think the way I do. I feel just as bad, it’s just less difficult to lie than to try smiling for real.
But I feel really alone now that no one feels the need to check up on me anymore. Was it too much to hope they’d simply want to talk to me? I know there are people that care about me, and I can’t stomach my guilt at the pain I’d cause them if they knew, but I don’t understand why they do.