I’ve always been a supporter of suicide, not because I think it’s wonderful but because I see the value in it when someone is hurting deeply and nothing helps. When therapy, meds, self-medication, etc. doesn’t work and they’ve exhausted resource, why should they be forced to stay here just to appease us?! However, when my husband wanted to die by suicide, I suddenly couldn’t support it and pleaded with him not to do it and tried to get him help but I couldn’t prevent it in the end. So, now I feel torn because suicide seriously s**** and hurts those left behind but I can’t help to still see it’s value to some degree 😮‍💨

I’ve struggled with severe depression since I was 6 years old and I’ve tired everything you can think of to fix it but nothing helps. So, I chose to become a neurologist with a minor in psychology to try and fix what is broken inside me. What I’ve found is that some people have genetic depression (not sure I like calling it that), meaning that they literally do not produce the chemicals or rather the proper chemicals to cause normalcy. Drugs can at time Band-Aid it but usually in these causes do not work at all and you just have to live or die with the “depression”.

I’m not scared of death but I am scared of actively dying, which is why I’ve never chosen death and before school, life was beyond miserable, I spent most of my time wishing that I could p*** from this life to the next or to oblivion but after studying the brain and learning what depression really is (fucked up chemicals) and not some mystical thing that happens to some and not others, it’s become much easier to deal with it. I have an illness and that’s OK, I go through it, learn from it and grow as a person.