I have a man who I think is so good looking there aren’t words to describe what he does to me. Besides his looks, he’s absolutely amazing in every other way as well! He’s smart, funny, interesting, kind, romantic, gentle, loving, etc. He treats me like a queen in every way and I’m so completely in love with him that I feel it in my bones but due to all the abuse from my past, I feel emotionless the vast majority of the time and feel like I don’t give back to him the same effort he gives to me/us. It isn’t that I don’t want to, I just can’t. I feel so overwhelmed, mentally exhausted and spent, I just wanna lie around like a fat blob fish and wait to die.

I hate what my past has turned me into… maybe it’s depression, I don’t know but it takes a tremendous amount of effort to even breathe these days, so, how am I supposed to be the lover he deserves?! 😞