My husband served in the Army from the age of 17 to 31 when he died by suicide after his last tour in Afghanistan. We were married for 10 years and had three children together and during that 10 years I got my Ph.D in biochemistry but got sick with heart failure from our last baby and could no longer work.

After he died, I received 400K lump sum and now I received thousands a month all because he served in the military. I feel so guilty getting all this money for what he did and went through but I am in no position health wise to deny it.

I used the 400K to buy a home, a truck and pay off our few debts and put the rest into savings. I try to be very good with the money and even use it to help other veterans and their families but nothing makes the guilt go away 😒 I wish my stupid worthless heart would just heal, so I could get the all clear from my doctor and go back to work. I mean, I take such good care of myself but it’s still betraying me 😮‍💨