Love hurts a lot. Why is it that I find someone who makes me so happy, who makes me want to live, but I can’t have that. Why can’t my parents be happy for me? All I want to be is normal. I want it to be carefree and easy. I don’t want to burden him with my life, he deserves better. I don’t know what to do. He brings so much joy in my life. Pure joy. When I’m with him I feel so light and like I’m living. But I come home to parents who yell, and hit me. And its just too much sometimes. I spent the whole night crying my eyes out last night after coming from an awesome evening with him. Because my parents just tell me I’m too young and this and that. I’m a senior in high school. They say I’m too young and I have time for everything but they weren’t there for me when I was suicidal. They weren’t there for me when I couldn’t get out of bed. They weren’t there for my entire life. But in this time that I’ve known him he’s been there for me. He’s comforted me like nobody ever has. And its nice. I don’t expect people to comfort me, I don’t need it. But he does anyway and its so nice. Ive never had this. Ive never had a time in my life where it was just easy. Where I could just be happy. I do well in school. I have a 93 average. I’m a music student and have been doing 12 years of piano. But I feel like I’m worthless. How could my own parents make me feel so worthless. While I was crying on the floor of my bathroom last night, my mother says to me, “at least cry in your bed”. While I was there after she had pulled my hair and pinched me while I was crying by my window she told me to stop crying and to cry in my bed instead. I was sitting there contemplating suicide, but the only thing that stopped me was a handful of people in my life. When will it end?