I kissed a married man today. I kissed a married man 21 years my senior. And I want to do it again. I think I might be in love with him. He’s kind and he’s funny and he’s confident, and he has the most infectious smile I’ve ever encountered. I swore at him when he kissed me, I told him I don’t want to be a home wrecker, that I never wanted to be THAT girl. And then I kissed him again.
I don’t know what to do. Hell, I’m not sure that’s even true. I know what I should do, but what I actually want is so much more complicated. I want him. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone in my life, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. I want to know what it’s like to fall asleep beside him, and wake in his arms, and what making love to him feels like. But even just thinking about it the guilt is choking me. Oh f***. I’m so lost.
