I only married my husband to have a way out of the abusive situation my narcissistic mother created. I resent him so much now and daily have thoughts

4 years

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I only married my husband to have a way out of the abusive situation my narcissistic mother created. I resent him so much now and daily have thoughts about cheating. Instead of being dependent on my mother for everything like she created, I’m not dependent on him, like a child. I’m stuck because I don’t know how to be self sufficient. I wasn’t allowed to be.

New Confession

I lied to my mother and family that I won’t kill myself but after 2weeks im planning on using my grandfather’s gun to feel free I don’t want to die but I also don’t want to suffer I hope they forget about me I wish I hugged you one more time mei sorry for everything if you ever find this Josephine please forgive me

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I regret my actions in my previous relationship. I messed up. She didn’t like that I was vaping and I couldn’t stop for her. She also was unhappy that I had sent explicit photos to another girl before we were together. I could have been better for her, but I wasn’t and now I can’t live with myself. I wish I could be with her every day, but I know that she wants nothing to do with me. Maybe one day I can apologize for how I treated her and we can be friends again, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me right now and I don’t blame her.