This boy messaged me out of nowhere on fb and I was sitting next to my gf. He said hey and I replied hey and asked how he knew me. He said he didn’t I looked cool, and he wanted to be friends. He was 15 and posed as an 18 year old. He was short and I didn’t think much of it but he passed as 18. He smoked and I smoked, and he wanted to smoke one day and didn’t live far at all so I drove over and met him after a few days of messaging and commenting on each other’s posts about smoking so.. We were at some spot near his house and there was a swing set so we sat on the swings and rolled a blunt and talked. He was adorable and made some funny a** jokes and everything he said I saw as innocent like he was a child. I felt protective over him immediately and his charisma had me melting to protect him. It was odd. I didn’t understand the feeling, but I brushed it off and I kept my cool and we became good friends. One day with my gf again he messages me to come and smoke and I came over right away after work and I was smoking with him. He got a text from a girl and said that he was upset about it and didn’t know how fo reply. He asked me to read it and give him advice and I saw the message from her said “You just want to smoke all the time and never want to hang out with me anymore. You’re interests are different than mine now, and I think we need to break up.” He was asking me what to say to keep her and I asked “Honestly, is that what you want? Do you want to be with her? If you did, you would hang out with her bro. That’s your girlfriend.” And he said “Well, I’ve been having these thoughts lately a lot and I don’t want anyone to think it’s their fault that I’m so angry and depressed right now. But I cant talk about it and tell anyone because it’s stupid and no one will understand.” And I felt so heartbroken for him. I asked “Why can’t you talk to me about it? I’m your new best friend, right? And there’s nothing I can judge anyone for, cuz I’m a p************ and no one judges me. At least not to my face..” and he laughed and said “Ok, I guess I can tell you. I’ve been thinking about guys.. Like I’m not gay, I don’t think but I know I can’t stop thinking about them and I really like my girlfriend, I just don’t think it’s going to work out because she doesn’t give me enough time to figure it out and is breaking up with me before I even know, ya know? Like I dreamed about kissing a guy, and then I didn’t go to school. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I ended up watching some gay p*** just to see what would happen and I finished to it bro. Like I don’t wanna be gay, but I can’t help it.. That’s why I added you, too. I thought you were cute and I was trying to figure out if I was gay or bi or what and now I’m so confused.” I lost it. I didn’t know he felt that way. I mean, I’m fine with gay friends but me??!! I.. Well I.. I’m straight. That’s crazy. I could never. “Ahh s*** I’m sorry bro. I guess that is too much going on and probably making you feel insane holding all of that inside.” I said. He looked at me and I saw tears falling down his face and he said “Well yeah, I mean, and now I told you and you’re gonna probably call me a f***** cuz I called gay people faggots when they hit on me and never talk to me again..” He was crying. His eyes were so pretty. The tears only made them even brighter. Wait.. The f***.. “Nah, bro. I’m not gonna just leave. But I will call you a f*****.” And I bumped his shoulder and smiled and he laughed and snorted because he was crying. “Can I hug you?” He asked me and I melted. “Uh, yeah. Come here.” And he leaned over and put his arms around me and when he held me my heart started pounding so hard I knew he could feel it through my chest touching his. I was dying inside because he felt like heaven in my arms and I had a whole girlfriend. I was forgetting how her hugs made me feel because his were a million times warmer and it felt like my first hug ever. The world was no longer dull and depressing. But he lit it back up like Christmas when you were a kid. It was so magical and now it wasn’t. He get magical.