Im going to kill myself on August 14th this year.
I’ve made a deal with myself that if I do not find a reason to live before that time, I will end it all.
It’s July 26th and I have found nothing. I’ve been hurting myself, crying myself to sleep and been drowning in the guilt of my decision.
I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to do it or if I’ll find a will to live by the time, but right now the path seems clear, I will commit suicide.
My plan for it I do not know yet. I may hang, overdose or use some poisonous flowers in our garden in my drink.
Whatever it is, I don’t guarantee my survival. I’m close to tears writing this, I don’t know if I can get any help because I’m terrified of making this worse. I feel like i don’t deserve help, that I’m worthless and everything I do is a mistake. I get screamed at by my older brother almost everyday and can’t even remember why most the time. Most my friends hate me or use me and I don’t remember who I am.
But I will kill myself on August 14th this year.
I’m 13 years old.
This is what I’ve become