I got to go and do some study. I am not even looking for a man anymore , if you haven’t noticed over the past 10 years since my friend at the church told me to stop looking her father owned a jewellery shop and sometimes I miss her friendship but she scored better with men then I did. The problem is the church wants to control everyone and seems to me its never my chance with men my own age or whatever, so I gave up and just sleep in bed all day and study most of the time. I don’t see the point in caring anymore about love crap. I just spend most of the time learning what interests me most. I miss the high tea friends events and perfume events most where I just hang around in the background trying to look normal and useless so everyone else could feel better about themselves.