And really I have felt that way since the mid/late 1990’s.

Which is 25 almost 30 years ago. I have never, not one time ever reached out to anyone, for my own good reasons. What I consider good reasons. Not one time, but I have been reached out to every so often over that entire 25/30 year span, which I don’t understand.

I have my reasons for distance. I also know people don’t change either. They only get worse. They reinforce my reasons for distance. It also gets easier for them to reach out, also made easier by me a lot of the time. I have also made mistakes getting mixed up with people who aided these people in reaching my out which I regret. I didn’t know at the time but I regret. Some of my biggest regrets in life was getting mixed up with people who behind my back dragged people from my past back to me and turned them it’s uglier. The kind of ugly I wanted to avoid. I just wanted to leave and leave it at that. No fighting, no hate, nothing ugly, leave it in the past. People knew that. I never at any time, ever reached out. Not once. Not one time. I had my reasons. The same cannot be said for that side.

In this day and age, how small the world is, it’s not as easy. The only way is to withdraw, really withdraw, and stay out of sight. Take it back to 97 in many ways. Some can’t be avoided, it is 2022, but it is possible to disappear in some ways.

I hate a few people. I resent some but that’s as far as I’ll take it. Their punishment is they lose me my trust, my respect. Whatever that means. Who knows at this point? Obviously and understandably I’m not very well liked either, but like I said I was not the one to make things ugly. That was something I always wanted to avoid.