I wish I had done better in life and had the means to live completely and utterly on my own. My family were derious disappointments which lead me to a dead end life before I was even a teenager, society/the world around me was unnecessarily harsh and judgemental to me during those years, which made me turn even more mean than they were, and ultimately a complete and utter introvert as an adult. All but 2 friends of mine have stayed with me, and it’s because I keep them at a distance and our friendships are largely superficial now. People have always low key hated me and were just waiting for the right time to cast me out of social circles, which also ALWAYS happened no matter what crowd I was attempting to be around. I have failed at everything I ever tried in my life, my wife and I get along but she has zero libido and absolutely no interest in s** whatsoever. We are having a baby so I’m pretty much locked into this, her family is the opposite of my family as well, extremely supportive and helpful, so if I bail on her I also lose that. I really just shouldn’t have let the world break me when I was growing up, but I was really too young to grasp what was going with me at the time, so these behaviors are my base instincts because it’s how I’ve been my entire life and it’s impossible for me to change it. I’ll raise this kid and provided they don’t turn out worthless I’ll take myself out once I’m old and all my duties are done. Things just didn’t turn out at all the way they were supposed to.