i’m so deeply in love with my best friend and i have been since july. back in mid 2020 we met online and instantly clicked. we talked every night for about 2 months. some outside drama ensued and he believed some lies about me and left. after a few months he got back in touch and we would take occasionally until one day he invited me to join a discord server with him and some people. that was in early july. we all would talk every night and that’s when i fell in love with him. i drive a few hours to visit him once or twice a month. i didn’t know until late august that he had a girlfriend, so then i stepped back. they broke up in september and i did everything i could to be there for him. i also would like to note that during all of this time since joining the server i never actively flirted with him or tried to get with him. i was too scared. when he started talking to a girl i got really jealous and would get angry at him for the smallest things just because i wanted him to be mine. it came out that i had a crush on him, but nobody knew to what extent. that girl left and there was a brief period of time where everything was calm. everybody assumed my crush on him dissolved and the people who asked that’s how i answered, including him. within the past month he’s been talking to this girl and not only do i not like her, but she gives me a bad feeling in my gut. i’m genuinely worried that she’s going to hurt him. tonight he said that he’s in love and has never felt like this before and it felt like a knife to the heart. i so badly want to be with him forever, but there are so many complications. if we broke up, our whole group’s dynamic will be thrown off and it would cause a lot of drama. there was a point in time he had a crush on me, but he smooshed the feelings for the sake of the friend group. i’m really really trying to do that and have been since november, but the feelings just keep getting stronger. i’ve dated quite a few people in my time and loved a few of them, but i’ve never loved someone like this before. it’s the most intense feeling of love i’ve ever experienced. i want to know how to stop because i’m tired of being in pain every day from not being with him. i love him with my whole heart and soul. i feel like we’re twins flamed and not meant to be, right people wrong time kind of scenario, but that just hurts to think about even more. what do i do?