I liked being around female teachers when I was little and had wild imaginations and dreams about them. I did not know about the LGBTQ+ culture back then and, coming from a reserved family, I would be disowned if I came out. I thought I was (and still am) a monster for having such feelings, so I decided to warn one of my female teachers to stay away from me because I did not want to hurt them. She misinterpreted the message and thought I threatened to harm her. The principal called on me and threatened to call law enforcement. I was given a blank piece of paper and write down why I sent that message. Denying my own feelings, I decided to write about having limited freedom at home. Police came, a family therapist came to visit me, and I received a letter from a judge hearing my case. Since then, I have kept my mouth shut and refuse to express my opinions on anything. I gave up my personality and the power of making choices, because I make bad judgements. I unsuccessfully tried to end my life. This guilt weighs on me and eats me alive; I cannot even make a conversation that lasts longer than 5 minutes with a stranger without awkwardly stuttering and clenching my fists.
