Everyone I’ve ever loved has abandoned me, including my own mother when I was 11. I was treated like a mo ster right up til the day I learned to be funny and wear a mask. But I couldn’t keep it up. The cracks would always form and people would run away again. It’s always been like this. Sending me to jail is an even bigger waste of taxpayer dollars than what they’re wasting on me right now. The world needs more spinach, not more useless defective fucks like me. My own parents found me too hard to love at my worst, there was never any hope for me in the long run. I’m destined to either die young or end up like my washed up old man, alone, in assisted living, broke, and begging people i don’t even like for rides to my doctors appointments because I’ve burnt every bridge I’ve ever crossed. He didn’t have it much better. My grandma forgot to bring my father home from the hospital. That entire side of my family is built like Greek gods but completely f****** insane. He used to just walk in the room and scream at me for being on the computer even though my homework was done. I had f****** adbd. So I ended up spending all my time outdoors riding bikes with the delinquents the school system forced me to be in class with, serving as the conscience for all the kids who are addicted to heroin or nazis now. I have betrayed one of the persons I considered a brother, and abandoned the other one because I couldn’t own up to my shame. I harassed Girls because I’m resentful that I never found love or had s** because of how mentally ill I am.. I am a f****** monster. I’m tapping out. You win. You all win. F*** you. You all got what you’ve wanted since I was 6 years old. I hope you all have children just like me. Maybe then you’ll understand.
