I have pushed a friend away when things were going bad for him. For the most of time I knew them, he was in the dark place. I’ve been here for all of it. But at some point it got to the point when talking with him felt like a chore, my answers became automatic. I was going through a rough time in January, I was stressed, I kept forgetting to take my meds so I allowed myself to distance. But then stress lifted. And I was scared to text that friend, because what if he was in the dark place again and I will have to handle it? So i just did below mininum. Didn’t start a convo. replied shorty. I don’t even know what i was thinking.
I confessed to him today. He doesn’t want to be friends for a while. But what I mostly feel guilty about is that I am secretly hoping he will just never speak with me again.
