Only one sentence of this is fantasy. But it is only fantasy because I asked…no,begged for it to come true. And even offered a great deal of money to make it happen. I am cursed with the worst problem a man can have when it comes to his g*******. Insanely large testicles that produce way too much, sperm and testosterone, a ridiculously large prostate, and yet for all tha breeding power, a laughable small p****. Under 3 inches fully erect. While I have the drive and mindset to be an alpha male, and the skillset and enthusiasm to pleasure a woman in any way she may wish that does not require penetration, obviously it is a waste of time. I am not incel material, I do not blame women or society for my obvious inadequacies. My experiences and skills at s** were only acquired from encountering women who were desperate for attention at some point in their lives, or in cases where they stood to gain (whether mentally or financially). The perfect example? Slipping in home caregivers for my aging mother a good amount of extra cash for some of their intimate time. It ranged from being masturbated in another room by one as I latched onto her breast and felt her p****, to the most long lasting and enjoyable one….the primary caregiver’s daughter was also a caregiver sometimes. She was in her 20s so I was not doing j*******. She actually suggested it because one of the other caretakers had told her. So for months I was meeting this one but her mother was suspsicious and her daughter fessed up. My mother called asking me to come by and when I walked in to all 3 of them I knew the secret was out. The daughter was honest and said it was her idea and she did not see the big deal. Her mother, however, was a typical proud AA woman who felt that a white man was using her daughter as a hired w****. I mean I get it. But the color of jer skin was not the issue, I had been slipping the caregivers extra money for their attention regardless of age or skin color. Anyway, my mother had one question…how long and who. I amswered honestly. The primary caretaker had two questions, both for my mother. What was she going to do about this, and abstractly, why had she not had me castrated at birth so that none of this had ever happened, that there was no way my mother had not known what I was going to become, that there is no way a mother cannot tell her son is destined to be “just another pathetic tiny dicked pervert.” My mother was actually in tears because she was heartbroken both by my state and what she described as lack of ability to have done something long ago. In the silence I offered a solution to all of it, one that I had been considering for a long time since I was exhausted from the relentless libido that made me do such things out of frustration. I empowered the primary caretaker two options. Find a surgical nurse or vet tech to surgically castrate me, or for her herself to give me the easily achievable home remedy of injections to castrate me without surgery. I told her she could do the actual final cut herself when they came out, or could push the plunger herself or be there to witness me doing it so she did not have any doubts. She liked the idea but refused. Told me it was my and my mother’s issue to resolve. So I asked my mother of she would help me achieve this in the interest of me stopping, and she said she could not. That entire disscussion made me resolve to take the steps, but since I have found no one fo4 assistance, will self inject this week.
