Hello Rudy,
This is the 3rd letter that I am writing on Word. Wrote one on Valentine’s, second one was after the breakup. This is the third time. I guess I will try to be a little bit more mature this time around. How have you been? How are you doing? Mourned me for 2 hours? haha
Anywho, I have been missing you a lot. Hmm, more like I can’t stop thinking about you. Every day. All the time. You have been hovering in my mind lol. Keeps checking your last seen haha. Keeps thinking if any text I get is from you. Even when I watch any show, my brain goes rudane rudane rudane. He must be doing that, or he is asleep, or playing, etc etc. Now that I look back at it, it seems like I had withdrawal issues. I guess you really were my cocaine lol. A lot of things have been happening so fast.
As funny as it sounds, I still don’t want to break up. I still don’t want to lose you. Then again, its not just me in this relationship. Which is why, I am finally leaving past behind, for myself. Maybe you are right, we are not meant to be. The concept of “meant to be” is just a phrase like “blind in love” in my understanding. Nobody is meant to be, they make it work. That in itself screams that you value validation from your loved ones, i.e., family and friends, and trust, that you clearly did not have with me. So, yes you are correct we are not meant to be.
This whole thing seems funny now. I can’t believe I let a guy into my life who is halfway across the world, that too, only by text, and let that guy to walk all over me, and still ask him to stay. Like, I can see this is stupid and I do it again. This maybe an issue from my end, I think, I really do need therapy, I guess.