Started a new job four weeks ago. I have on going intestinal issues on nearly a daily occurrence. Have basically had to crap so bad I’ve destroyed the bathroom on a regular basis, to the point I had to clean up the toilet when I was finished and wipe down the bathroom.

My very first day at work I even managed to crap on the floor walking to the sink my pants down around my ankles, trying to get a damp paper towel to clean my a** more thoroughly since it was so bad. I usually get it on the side of the toilet, and have to lift the seat to clean it up too.

Yes, I cleaned it all up….half-assedly, np pun intended.

I am sure half the office hears me, but whatever. The smell is horrendous and even gags me. I work in a morgue, we get a lot of decomp cases, so I rest assured knowing that my fellow staff members most likely assume that is all the smell is, and are accustomed to pungent deathly odors.

I’m not going to hold it, I work 45 minutes away, and last time I tried to hold it until I got home after work, I ended up coughing, which resulted in me crapping my pants in my vehicle. It soaked through my good slacks, and into my car seat. I spent a considerable amount of time salvaging both my beloved professional trousers (fortunately for me they are black) as well as scrubbing out the seeped in skid marks of my vehicle. The smell lasted for days, even after I scrubbed with with soap, water and a green cleaning solution.

Then, even after I thought I got all the poop stains off the car seat, I realized that I hadn’t the next day, when I wore lighter pants, got home, and noticed brown streaks on the a** area. Luckily, it was my day off, and I wasn’t heading to work that way.

I’ve had to put a towel down on my seat since. I’m on the third towel, and finally now, no brown stains is coming up with it, meaning most of the b*** sauce is either gone, or at least diminished enough it isn’t going to soak into my pants every time I drive.

I refuse to go through that unnecessary situation again, when I can just take a dump at work, in spite of how slimy, potent, sludgy, and tarry it might be. Better in, on and around the toilet in a bathroom and then clean it up, than adsorbed in my car seat after I s*** myself on the way home from holding it too long….or even worse, end up shitting myself at my desk from trying to hold it.