During the pandemic I learned the truth about my friendships; the good, bad, and ugly. Only my oldest, closest friendships withstood the ‘every man for himself’ collective blow of the coronavirus. My friends made in childhood had the most consistency in checking in on my family and I, mixed with maybe a handful of newer friends. I made the mistake of reaching out to one of my more affluent friends I met over the Thanksgiving Holidays back in San Francisco in 2004 during this time, when I literally asked for support in terms of work when the pandemic shut down all three of our family businesses at once which was brutal financially. Before, the pandemic began around Thanksgiving 2019 I had flown out 1500 miles to a attend a celebrity charity event for wildlife in Los Angeles and synchronicity had me unexpectedly run into her aunt. We chatted and she shared that my friend (her relative) had a DJ event on Friday night, the next evening. I made plans to go since I was in town, because I was having Friendsgiving to celebrate my prior year being in LA helping rehab a childhood friend whom was on vacation, had a bad headache but in fact had a bleeding brain aneurysm and stroke during emergency surgery the year before in 2018 at the Hard Rock Cafe. The irony of this, is I had also gone out of my way while in town then to support the same host of the charity event I was attending currently but the night we arrived – she had a huge fight with her friend and was mia. Yet there we were enjoying ourselves at her venue where she was no where to be found. Let me also say that although I am talented, I am not as wealthy as either of these people and it takes a focused and committed effort on my part to show up to support them or their projects on social media or financially. Which is something wealthy people often fail to recognize and be unkind, if not callously dismissive about. So as I am en route to hear the music on Fri at the club, I text my alleged 2004 friends number, ” Hey I am here, etc.” The funny not-so-funny part is my messages are completely ignored all night..lol…and a week later she meets her now gold digger life partner. Talk about timing. Not that xyz spoiled princess had been part of my original travel plans but still it is a long way to travel. Not only had i my original requests for help been ignored but now also my texts. I think mainly because she was childishly upset I had disagreed with her previously when she had said she was, “self made.” In my life experience, no one is self made. We are each a result of all the time, dedication and love of our parents, family, teachers, mentors and friends who invested in us, our talents, and skills, educating us for years. 2004 so happened to be born as a globally pre-branded genetic lottery winner that her great grandfather established. It takes average people y-e-a-r-s to brand their name, if not a lifetime and many never receive an inheritance or have Bank of America private funding parents. To say you are self made, even if a hard worker is arrogant, if not an ungrateful attitude to have for all the people who put their time investment into making you the person you are today. Yes, we decide our path in life, what skills or talent we want to perfect but we are each successful because of the collective community who loved/loves us and invested into our life education. Much respect to your parents who tamed your wild ways to become so successful. Can you imagine what America or the world would look like if we went back to give back to the people who helped us on our life journey or even acknowledged them or honored their families with a financial blessing for their contribution to our success? It would be life changing. Three months later after leaving LA to return South, right before the pandemic hits America full force I have an art opening, which neither of these people I had gone out of my way to support were to be found, or regarding any other philanthropy projects up to present date. A firm reminder that friendship or business alliances are not a one way street and require reciprocity throughout the seasons of life. However, my eyes were opened that these were not in fact real friends at all but mere aquaintences. Especially when after eleven months of staying healthy during the coronaviris it caught up with us in Jan 2022, and I being immune compromised myself – cared for my very ill immune compromised mother at home for 10 weeks who almost died. She was afraid to go into the hospital since everyone over the age of 65 is basically euthanized as every hospital admission, even a splinter removal or broken arm is labeled as ‘Death by CoVid.’ Instead I brought the Doctors to her and took her to a small clinic. It was a sacrifice on my part but she is a walking miracle on the road to recovery. During this entire time of duress, I never received one call, email or visit from any of the celebrities or nonprofits our family has supported for decades, so it has been very eye opening. Sad, when our numbers have been in their databases for years. Which goes to show you, your just a number supporting one way vanity. Yet in their carelessness or unreliability comes my recovered childhood friend; whom could barely stand due to the anyerusm, to rehab her to walking during rehab, to now driving, a damn miracle that defies ever statistic face timing us to show us love and moral support. Here come local neighbors cooking us meals, friends bringing us chicken broth, soup of kindness and I don’t even know if I have ever promoted their companies or purchased anything they are selling. Amazing how love and real friendship endures in the most challenging of times when sincere and reciprocal. Everything else is obsolete when the pandemic makes the truth about our relationships and whom loves us in both word and deed clear. Lesson learned, I am only investing in people what they invest into me, including kindness. 🦋 Song Dedication: Wide Awake, Kate Perry
