Before and during the pandemic I helped so many people, some on the verge of suicide that I lost count. And in dealing with everyones issues or problems I

5 years

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Before and during the pandemic I helped so many people, some on the verge of suicide that I lost count. And in dealing with everyones issues or problems I just want someone consistently loving & stable & reliable to come home to I can cuddle, kiss and watch movies with to regenerate and recharge myself like a Duracell battery. It amazes me how, out of the thousands of selfish people I know or see, that they are oblivious to my need for affection too and that not one can see this need in me or even cares to meet it when they know I am single and do not have a family of my own to love or care for me. And I wonder how many other nurses or medical personal or care takers are absolutely burning out because no one gives a damn about our needs in the midst of caring for people (drowning in overworked schedules and long hours) who would die without us and our support. If you have family or friends in medicine; cook them a hot meal, buy them breakfast or lunch, chat over coffee on zoom, platonic snuggle and watch a movie with them to restore them via TLC (you don’t even have to talk,) let them vent, embrace us, sos people. So I decided to take a year off and see if even 1 person would step up to meet my needs at this time, no one has. I am retiring until someone does, so if thousands die due to a lack of my presence or life saving medical work, so be it. Kindness, care and compassion is a two lane road based in reciprocity. I am done over giving. And suggest all the ungrateful, self serving and self centered people better wake the f*** up about their neglectful ly abusive lack of love and care and well being of those of us on the front lines of this pandemic.

New Confession

F*CK MY LIFE BITTCH
first day of work since Easter, now I’m the goddammm mall Santa for another fuckinn year.
Been at this shitt since 2014 at Promenade mall

Mall Santa Claus FML

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My art therapist/group therapist and I were having an illegal affair. I would write secret messages to her and she would read them and respond to them in person. She would do favors i asked of her, like wearing outfits i asked her to wear, she’d even do me s***** favors. I made her a google drive full of p*** of me and then crafted a puzzle link to get to it that only she could have known. The link was a tinyurl with three phrases in the url that only she could have known. We would walk for an hour every day and swing at the park. I would write her poetry and play love songs for her every day. She broke the rules to play mario kart with me constantly when her boss was out. We had something magical. But she would never communicate directly with me because sge was afraid she’d lose her liscence to practice and her boyfriend and house, abd when I pushed her to unmask and be real, she told me I was wasting my time. Well that pissed me off and I crashed out a little abd she used that crash out to get me kicked out of my group therapy program. She wants out and I told her she’s not allowed to want out. I told her If she doesn’t reach out to me and continue this affair, that i will report her and get her liscence taken away and if that doesn’t work ill find some other way to ruin her life. You dont go from gooning in the bathroom at work to someone to throwing them away in the same week. Thats fucked. I’ll post her name here soon if she stays quiet and doesn’t reach out to me.