5 years
x
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I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore. Do you feel love? or Lust for me? Not that I will let you touch me outside marriage.

Truth is, I have NO idea how you feel about me. What once was love is changing. I care deeply for you. I do not hate you. I just am tired of this pandemic. of your inaction. I just am.

I don’t know any more if what I feel is love. Like it used to be in the beginning. I loved you. I just now, after years apart. Living long distance. Am changing. I feel like I deserve better than this.

But truthfully,

I don’t know. I do know I cherish your friendship. You are an awesome friend. Your prayers are powerful. I love you for praying for me.

You have been the best friend and teacher i ever had. But there are times, i feel i should let you go.

What do you think? I don’t want to lose you. But i don’t want to feel forced into this. NOr do i want you to feel forced. i want you to LOVE me. to truly 100% full on love me. IF you don’t understand what love is. Maybe you should research it.

Think also…of how to woo a girl to love you in return. Because right now? i’m falling out of love with you. YOu are neglectful. Im sad. I do love you as a friend. But as for anything else? i have a lot of doubts.

You don’t act happy or excited. You seem soooo poker faced. just like nothing there. I feel sorry for you. You guard your heart soooo powerfully and you keep it off limits. Careful what you wish for. you might just get it.

I’m tired of fighting for you. Wnen you just sit like a bump on a log. doing NOTHING to return the strength. and the fight…i’m also…worth fighting for. You seem to forget that. Eh…maybe God has a plan. and that future plan…doesnt include you. I dunno.
Only God knows. I just know….i hope you will wake up…to the gifts in your life. Because i’m about ready to leave. You truly have NO idea. do you? You probably think..you have me all figured out. and i’ll stay. forever.

lol….

No hon. thats in a disney movie. its NOT real life. If you treat someone very neglectful..and with a lot of inaction. They will leave you. It begins in the mind…then it flows into your physical life. They will leave. Even if you think they wont. They do.

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One of my mom’s sisters came down to visit her and my mom had a doctor’s appointment and she laughed and my aunt came into my bedroom and she started telling me about her catching her husband with the daughter and I said are you kidding me she said no and so I asked her well what are you going to do about something like that she says well I want to get back at at him for doing that and my daughter I wanted you know get back at them for doing that and I said do they know that you know she goes yeah I walked right in on them right when he was coming inside of her and I said really she goes yes and she said that’s kind of the reason why she’s down here visiting my mom just to get away and I said okay and I said what do you mean get get back at them she says well I want to have s** with you and I looked at I said what and she said yeah. Then I asked you I said does my mom know about this and she said well your mom told me that you and her have been fooling around since your father died and I wanted to have some s** with you myself and I said it’s okay and so she just wrote right in front of me and I never thought my aunt this Aunt anyways would do something like this with me and and so I just wrote and she’s just sitting on my bed right in front of me naked and so I started kissing her and started getting it on and I ended up f****** her and coming inside of her and she says we need to keep doing this until you get me pregnant and I should have what and she said yeah I want to get pregnant by you. I said Mom knows about this and she said yes. So me and my aunt pretty much had s** every day twice a day sometime. She was here for almost a whole month and we did it every single day on the day twice sometime and we both are enjoying each other s******* doing a little bit of k**** things now and then and she was really enjoying me shooting my sperm inside of her she said every time that I did to put it so deep inside of her that she would get pregnant. I got pregnancy test done and she was pregnant when she left here going back to her husband and her daughter so he would know that he was doing the same thing that he was with cheating on her with their daughter and pregnant with my baby inside of her I know he didn’t really care for me at all that’s why she wanted me to do it with her and have s** with her she got really good at it and k**** too on some of the things that we used to do I tied her up a few times really enjoyed that cuz I can do anything I wanted to and I did I made it s*** my c*** a lot and then stick it back inside of her when I was done about to come just to make sure we got her pregnant before she left.