When my fiance Lee died, I was 26. We had been best friends since age 10 and did not start dating until I was 20 and in college. Considering how abusive

5 years

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When my fiance Lee died, I was 26. We had been best friends since age 10 and did not start dating until I was 20 and in college. Considering how abusive my stepfather and mothers marriage was, my fiance always consistently made me feel safe and was very much a shelter in the storm. Reliable and protective in a way that I never had to worry about anything. I was very naieve to how much my fiance was worth or that they were one of the top ten wealthiest families in America. I’ve met people with money but never anyone so generous towards me: emotionally, physically, financially, s*******. Would go to pay a bill for a class or utility bill and it has already been paid. It is rare to meet anyone who ‘sees your need, and meets your need,’ without even having to ask. My fiances death, was interpreted by my body as hearthreaking pneumonia over the loss of my 16 year companion. For 5 years in a row I continued to catch pneumonia on the day that my fiance died like clockwork. Until I found out from working with a group of monks to heal in the mountains of San Francisco I had to face a deep grief known as survivors guilt for still being alive. After that, I never caught pneumonia again. Fast forward to the pandemic and a man from mainland China comes off the plane directly into our spa in Jan of 2020, the owner who never gets sick, like once every 4 years went down like the titanic. Then I went down for two weeks but recovered quickly. In the process the blood banks were having shortages and offered to pay me $100 a pint because a lab out of State wanted to use my juice for making serum for cancer and transplant patients. Without the serum neither can get treatment or transplants and die. The irony, the loss of
a great love and all those years of being sick in fact made me immune to CoVid. I buried a family member this week, and have been feeling under the weather. My left lung hurts and I am coughing with a mild fever, I wonder if this is it? I have been on here on this planet existing without the love of my life and best friend for 22 years and I am tired.

Beyond family, I have learned you can expend a lot of energy cano one really cares about your emotional, physical or financial well being they are too selfish. I think about all the people we have helped along the way and not one of them has cared to check in on me or my family to see if we are alright. What a waste of kindness, and sometimes when I go to sleep at night and close my eyes, I secretly hope not to wake up. To leave the cruelty of this world behind and wake up in the arms of the one person in my entire life that not only loved me in words, but in deed consistently. Thank you for being my love light in the darkness of this world. Sweet dreams my love.

New Confession

i have identified as a cannibal for years now and i send every waking day researching and fixating on the fantasy of finally getting to bite down on that forbidden meat, ive even strongly considered mutilating myself just to finally taste it and even gone as far to become a scientist so i can lab grow human meat for myself, i have had harm ocd for longer then i can remember and there was a point when i tryed to get help and seeked therapy but my therapist never helped me, im so so so hungry and whenever i look at another human even my own friends and family i see nothing but forbidden food and i cant help but salivate. one day i promise this to you i will get my hands on human meat one day whether its ethical or not. my most dreamed off meal is a tender fall apart in your mouth smokey bbq human ribs, ive never wanted anything more, please, please please please if anyone has any connections, please find a way to contact me, i’ve never been so serious.

Related Confessions

One time my art therapist was holding her pee during dnd, this was shortly after she learned that I was into pee desperation, so january 2026. I was playing rain music. She was squirming like mad less than an hour in. At one point she shifted in her seat and opened her mouth and eyes wide in surprise, a real uh oh face. Break time came and she chose not to pee. So at about 70 or 80 minutes in, she gets up to go pee. Mind you she normally held it for 130 minutes. Well the dm tells her to update her character sheet before she goes and she says “OK, but I have to pee like no other.” I said “Damn…” and then “Why are you still here then.” And she just kinda went blank and said “What?” And I was like “Nevermind.” She came back from the bathroom reeking like piss and clearly going commando cause she had a sudden cameltoe that wasnt there before. Someone mentioned that it smelled like a litter box and i said “You smell piss? Oh yeah, I smell it too!” Pretty sure she had to throw out her p****** cause they were soaked in piss. She did that because she has a condition that makes it hard for her to have s** and i told her if she couldn’t f*** she’d have to indulge my o******* kink for pee desperation and wetting. She proceeded to hold it during dnd every week after that for 10 months, minus like 6 weeks. I remember many times she was clearly desperate to pee. A couple of times she jumped in her seat and sharply inhaled. Many times she would cross and uncross her legs and kick her feet repeatedly before tightly crossing her legs at the knee. One time after squirming she had a wet spot on her b*** and she leaned over the counter to let me see. Before any of this, we were playing dnd in like 2024 or 2025 and she was like “Hold on, I need to pee.” And I said ” Not allowed” and she jokingly said “Wanna come?” to me, in front of another client.