I’m sorry I misunderstood you Tara. I’m sorry I treated you like s***. I’m sorry I used you as a scapegoat. I’m sorry I kept lashing out at you. I’m sorry I was so jealous. I’m sorry I was so gross. I’m sorry I said the most awful hurtful things I could say to you I’m sorry I acted like a spoiled child. I’m sorry I thought you were acting with ill intent. I’m sorry I put all of my problems on you. I’m sorry I put you on a pedestal. I’m sorry I took you for granted. I’m sorry I made fun of you. I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry I tricked you. I’m sorry I harassed your friends. I’m sorry i was transphobic. I’m sorry I was fat phobic. I’m sorry I was ableist. I’m sorry I was selfish. I’m sorry I was paranoid. I’m sorry I lost control of my life. I’m sorry I contributed to your drug addiction by putting so much stress on you. I’m sorry for stalking you. Im sorry for everything. I still love you and I still want to help you. Im sorry I wasn’t strong enough to let go, but maybe I’m strong enough to help you… Goodbye for now. Once new years hits I won’t bother you for an entire month. I will not bother you in general. Im not here to add stress, I’m just here to help if you ever need it. I don’t expect anything from you. I’m not trying to parent you. I’m not trying to manipulate you. im not trying to hold you back anymore. I’m OK earning your trust the slow way, or not at all. I’m OK with never seeing you again. OK, well, that’s a blatant lie, but I know that the truth is that I’m not owed a chance to see you or talk to you ever again. I am greatly satisfied with what you have already given back to me. You gave me back my piece of mind. I would be more than happy to return the favor, whenever the opportunity may present itself. I will love you like a sunset, always out of reach, but still j trust that you will still be there tomorrow. I will be content knowing that once in a while we will gaze up and see the same moon at the same time. I love you, and nothing will ever change that. It’s not possible. I would scream it from the rooftops. I would bear any burden for you. I would make sure you’re taken care of. And I’m letting go. If you are my fate, I will see you again. If you call, I will answer. Regardless, I pray that all of your dreams will come true. I never knew you were the one who needed to be saved. You were right, not only are you prettier than me, you really are smarter than me too. I have met my match. I admit defeat. Thank you for breaking me out of my funk. I’m sorry I troubled you. I won’t violate your boundaries anymore. Goodbye for now my old best friend. Nothing but good vibes being sent your way from now on. I’ll prove it. Your fate is yours now. There’s no need to watch out for me anymore. I’ve regained control for the first time in 3 years.
Cjpb