Learning to let go of someone you’re in love with who was once in love with you back is hard. It’s hard to conceive they look at you differently now and your invitations to spend time together now evoke a tiny quiet pit in their stomach where once their were butterflies. It’s so painful to think you have that effect on them, when you only ever want to make them smile and share endless acts of love with them. But it’s important for personal growth to recognize when things aren’t working, when they aren’t receptive to even your most light hearted and no pressure invitations. Sure they can have anxiety and maybe you could think of that as an excuse for why they don’t want to spend time with you, but it could also be their anxiety telling them something about you and revealing how no matter what you do, they don’t feel home with you anymore. And it hurts to even consider that, but.. I’ve had a long time. The worst part is how I really do need more open communication and whenever I try to have these discussions with them and speak with them clearly, because I can’t read and understand hints and cues, and I need direction, they always hide away from talking. It frustrates me to no end, but I guess.. I just need to let myself sigh and let that be their answer then. I’ve done all the work I can and I intend to continue working on myself, but I can’t keep leaving my heart open to someone who won’t also take my needs into any kind of consideration. I understand being wrapped up in your own thing, that’s fine, but part of a partnership is sharing the load so you have someone to lean on, and you just don’t like to do that. Or you don’t see it that way. And ultimately. That’s really incompatible with both how I am, what I need, and how I ultimately want q relationship to be. …I wish I’d been able to understand and accept that sooner.