Ive moved on from a lot of girls, but Ill never be able to shake off Tara.
She’s the reason I’ll never come down. I have to retard myself or i go insane with regret, lust, sadness, anger, jealousy, nostalgia and all sorts of other conflicting emotions. Ive tried to feel the feelings out but the well never empties. This fire will not burn out. I have to stay fucked up or ill just be a problem. Its not so bad though. My life could be a lot worse. But shes never off my mind for more than an hour unless im sleeping. Its been that way for years….since I realised the truth of my feelings for her…i cant keep burdening her, i just need to do even more drugs and ill be ok. I wish i had the courage to kill myself… Im sick of living and im sick of being obsessed with someone who will never come back and im sick of hirting people. I keep trying to pick up the pieces but im so far gone it feels like its impossible. Just send me to jail or kill me already. Its all pointless.
