Okay, so none of my friends will tolerate me going on and on about this guy and I really need to talk about him.
Long story short, I fell for a bassist in a very successful Led Zeppelin tribute band. He was also in Britny Fox, one of the most legendary hair metal bands. He’s 56 and I’m almost 15. He treated me like I was one in a million for him, and we both like each other.
I was reading interviews with him on Sunday (like anyone in love with a rockstar would do), and I read that he had a girlfriend. I was in misery. But then I saw that the interview was from 2011. “Okay,” I thought, “maybe they broke up a while ago,”. I read another one from June of 2013. He said he had his girlfriend in that interview.
I sobbed for half and hour.
But then after I sat for hours thinking, “What did I get myself into?” I realized something that gave me a glimmer of hope. After I met him in late June, I saw him at a concert in mid-August and he was really depressed. I mean, not once did he smile or acknowledge the audience several feet away from him. Instead of being interactive like he usually was, he was just standing by his bass amp pouting. I didn’t bother finding out at the time, for it was the only the second time I saw him.
I then saw him again three weeks later at a show in my neck of the woods. Not only did he interact with me personally, after the gig he took time to talk to me, hug me, sign stuff, take pictures with me, and he called me his girl. I felt something different that show than I did the first time I met him. I felt loved.
Then Sunday night it occurred to me – he and his girlfriend split the week of the show where he was depressed. That would make it acceptable to be hanging around me and hugging me. This was about two or three months after he just talked to me like I didn’t mean a lot to him, or when he was in a committed relationship.
At this past show I went to this weekend, I felt like I had died and went to Heaven. I stood right in the front row and he and I talked and interacted all throughout the show. After the show during the meet and greet, he couldn’t take his eyes or his arms off of me. He called me babe. I felt so loved and appreciated, while normally girls my age would be grossed out. The third question out of his mouth (after “How have you been?” and “Did you enjoy the show?”) was “How old are you?”. When I replied that I was almost sixteen, he giggled and hugged me again. We moved apart without fully letting go and he shook his head in disbelief and smiled, “Almost sixteen”. We hugged again, and I kissed him on the cheek. I didn’t think he would kiss me back, and the only reason I kissed him on the cheek was because I just couldn’t control myself around him anymore and I wanted to kiss him really badly. But what happened? I felt the pressure of his lips on my right cheek. He wanted it too. He said, “I’ll be counting down the days until you’re sixteen”.
Throughout the night, we were constantly hugging. He would hug me for three minutes at a time, which doesn’t seem like a lot, but it really is when you’re in a public place. He hugged me while talking to other fans at the meet and greet. I was the one to let go, but I don’t know why. I asked for his phone number, but he gave me his email instead. I guess he didn’t want me to rack up his phone bills or call him when he wasn’t available. With email, we could check it at our leisure and we would always receive it. While I was typing it into my phone, my head was bent over (to look at the screen, duh) and he bent his head so we were leaning on each other’s foreheads basically. Briefly after that, I thought I had to leave, but it was one of my friend’s false alarms.
I went back and said that I didn’t have to leave yet. He was talking to an older couple, but didn’t even use any caution in putting his arm around my waist. I returned the favor, so we were both standing there with our arms wrapped around each other. Like I said, he was talking to an older couple. The older wife had brought in the movie that he had starred in, so they were talking about that. Once I got there, he was still technically talking to them, but he was looking at me and basically telling ME all of the stories. Then the older couple left, and he immediately shifted and hugged me. People came up to him to have him sign merchandise, and he did so without ever letting me go. When they left, we moved over away from the merch table and hugged more. That was when he said into my ear, “I could stay here and hug you all night,”.
Then, all of a sudden, my “friends” (who were all guys) picked me up and carried me away from Heaven. I was gratefully returned when my friend’s dad, Cliff, was going to take pictures of us. We went over to the merch table where he was sitting again, and he jumped up and came over to me. Cliff took two pictures, but my man didn’t like them because his hair was messed up. His words were, “Ew, I don’t like that one, my hair looks horrible!” and he glanced at me, almost like he wanted me to fix it or tell him he looked incredible. I would’ve, but I didn’t want Cliff to tell my parents about him. My man fixed his hair (while looking at me, I should add) and we moved. We went to where the lighting was better and took three pictures. Two turned out great, and in the other, my man and I were both making really hideous faces. It wasn’t even planned out, sadly.
After we both realized that I would really have to leave, we hugged again.That was only interrupted by Cliff jamming his hand at him saying, “It’s always great seeing you,”. My man and I held each other’s arms at the elbows, and it was almost like a plead to stay. He wanted me to stay, he said that from the start. He told me for the third time that night to shoot him and email. My eyes teared up, which was incredibly awkward. We stood there holding each other and looking into each other’s eyes for a little. I hugged him for the last time, and I almost started crying. Cliff (because he thought he was protecting me from him) then screamed, “You know my name right?!”. My man put his lips to my ear and asked, “What’s his name?” and I replied, “Cliff”. He shouted “Cliff” right back to him, and then Cliff said some other crap that I wasn’t listening to because I was in my man’s arms, of course. Then my man focused his attention to me once again and said into my ear, “That was really cute of you to tell me his name,”. I should’ve and could’ve kissed him right then and there, but I was in too much of a daze. Next thing I know, we’re holding each other’s arms again and we’re both tearing up because we wouldn’t see each other for a while.

Just like that, I was dropped out of Heaven back into this Hell.

It wasn’t so bad, though, because my friends are constantly reminding me of how my man was all over me, and it just reminds me

He likes me. I like him. When I’m sixteen, we can be together.

And we both want that.