Married bf decided to be vindictive and display what a pos he is. He was pissed at me for cutting him off and at his wife ( former gf of mine years ago, who herself cheated on me and was a big reason I stopped having anytbing to do with women and hopped the fence years ago as well) for moving out of their home and temporarily crashing under my roof. Despite my being idiotic enough to be his side piece of a**, and despite me being self destructive and guilt plaqued things seem to be settling down. He had tried to bluff her and threaten to sue over alienation of affection. He also started spreading s*** amongst our mutual circle of friends, and while i found it insanely annoying since they feel we all owe each other our life details with no boundaries, my temporary roommate decided that we shouls cut it off at the lass. A group zoom call of all things. I mean yeah I know I fucked this up but being out is not the same as being stupidly open with people that are often shallow and fake. She was actually defending me, telling them yes it was a s***** thing that I was being a willing side piece for her husband but that he had been the one to instigate it and that I was forgiven and helping make it right. So his bs lies out and dealt with, one of our friends asked if he had done this hoping for gain and pointing out that I was by far the most ridiculously financially successful of pur group. My jaw hit the floor but apparently everyone including his wife sitting right next to me during tbe zoom call suspected it. I started feeling angry and stupid but they were all basically on the page that both she and I were victims. She told the group that she was going to be my volunteer life coach and teach me that being sane and stable and educated and successful did not override that I was usually detached and had high walls and it made me lonely and I made a bad choice. The group call ended supportively and then she told me one on one that she knew she was a big reason I kept people at a distance and kept my heart out of things. Not that she was wrong. Then she asked me what came next. Since I am often cold and clinical I told her that we were going to accept his request to meet and talk, and if she was willing to let me take lead depending on what he says then we were going to resolve this my way.