My family, friends and boyfriend would disown me if they knew that I had B********* while I was away at college. I saw an ad on a dating app and thought it was probably photoshopped. The Black guy was hanging down almost to his knees. I wondered how anybody could ever take that.

I decided to be bold and I answered the ad. I took precautions to meet him in a public place. He didn’t seem too bad although scholarly conversation wasn’t what I was looking for anyway. We met and it was real! He didn’t use photoshop. He impaled me on that thing and I felt like it was going to tear me apart. He didn’t even go all the way in. I never felt anything like that before.

It was painful and I gasped for breath and hoped that he’d come soon so it was over but he kept banging into me and I had an intense o*****. He did too and there was a lot to clean up. I was sore for days and walked a bit odd. A few days later I thought about it as I rubbed myself to another o***** while feeling the soreness. It was just regular and not intense.

I met him several times throughout the semester. Eventually he was able to get a little more inside me. He started getting a little violent with me and smacking me around but I didn’t care because my orgasms were so good and I was so sore and throbbing afterwards.

I also sucked him and he put out a bucket of sperm. The next semester I met him again. He had friend waiting to meet us, and when I objected they held me down and raped me. Both of them took turns with me all day. They used all my openings. That was the first time I ever had a***. It was so painful but I couldn’t escape and had to endure it. I shouldn’t have been meeting anyone, especially a Black, but I made sure that I stayed on the pill and I used additional birth control.

I still rub myself thinking about the soreness and throbbing he caused. I also think about my r***. I have orgasms but not nearly as good as when he impaled me or when the two of them forced me and raped me all day long. My family and friends will never know.