Been in a funk for a couple days. Been the willing side piece of a** for my married friend. Heard nothing from him for a day and a half and he was distant while we were at a group of friends dinner (circle includes his wife, who used to be my gf before I realized thanks to her that I do not trust women and gay works way better for me). I mean I did not expect him to be overly interactive publically with or without his wife there but still. I had my fair share of neurotic worries that our last time in bed had him freaking out because he was clearly learning he was enjoying being a top but was also clearly worried about us starting 4o be lovers more than just a backup c** dump when he needs. And I realized I was getting attached as well. So been low level bummed out for a bit. But wee hours of the morning got a text from him apologizing but recognizing that this is more than just mindless s**. But he also said that she was making a long weekend trip woth her sister and said he wanted us to have some quality naked time. And before I could stop myself I told him he could stay at my place the entire time if he wanted. Then wanted to crawl in a hole and die for being that pushy needy and pathetic. And then after an agonizing silence he texts back that if I am serious he will spend every minute of it with me. Thank god I recovered from my panic and told him to send me a grocery list of anything he wanted because I was going to hit store to supply us for four days because I was going to spend every minute f****** his brains out. He teased back that we would see who was brainless after he got done f****** ne senseless and c*** stupid. I damn near bit my lower lip off smiling despite knowing that spending four days naked in this man’s arms under him is going to really mentally f*** me upbin the most dangerous beautiful way.