5 years
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I have an eating disorder. I know I do. I have a big problem maintaining and losing weight but what else can I do? I’m in the military and I have a standard I have to meet. If I don’t I will be kicked out. I don’t want that. Eating disorders are common in the military, we just don’t talk about them. People fast for weeks at a time and that’s normal around here. But I know how unhealthy what I’m choosing to do is but I see no alternative. I exercise everyday sometimes twice a day. Today I ate nothing because I was desperate. I take diet pills and have considered surgery. I hate to say that I might kill myself if I get kicked out but its possible. What will I have? I can’t tell my family. They were so proud of me for getting in to begin with cause I had to lose so much weight. If I get kicked out for weight I think my life should just be over. I can’t keep looking at myself and just seeing how fat I am, and if it costs me the thing I worked so hard to get. I think its just time to be done.

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