Am i a monster after what i did to my family or is my hatred creating a fog that lets me fail to see the shining sun. As in the desert there is no water but a well and over next to it is the overwhelming burden of my deep sadness but i realized down the road how are abusive substances going to make me a better person in the end? I only lied to myself as these substances only brought hell closer to my feet but if i had just been a little more patient than i would be home.