Many years ago, I had a girlfriend whom I loved with all my heart and soul, and she was everything to me. Or so I thought.

I was really in love with this girl all those years ago. We were together for two years until she initiated a break up with me suddenly without any reasons. I was very surprised at that time. We were the envy of most of our friends then, and it puzzled me for a while why she initiated a break up with me. I was really reluctant about it, but due to how persistent she was. We eventually did and went our separate ways.

After that, things went for an all around change. She started hating me after that. We literally quarrel or scolds each other every time we see each other. At first, it was just her that started insulting me when we see each other as I still love her and really can’t bring myself to say anything back. But as time went by, I started to get really annoyed to all these random insults and that’s when I started to throw some of it back.

Our relationship eventually went down very quickly. I was still really puzzled as to why she suddenly broke up with me.

Today, as I was managing my older Social Networks account, I incidentally came across her blog. And my curiosity got the better of me, and I went to her postings of the time when we were still an item.

I was devastated and guilty when I read her post.

It was all my fault. It all started when I started making fun of her with a group of so called ‘friends’ that I was always hanging with at that time. It must have really hurt her a lot. I also broken a lot of promise while I was in her. For example, I read that there was once I promised that I’d video call her as I was unable to be with her physically with her on her birthday. But I didn’t. I kept delaying this call day after days. Until I entirely forgotten about it. But she didn’t mention anything at all.

I didn’t know that she was hurt then. She told me that it was okay, and I took her words for it. Not knowing how she really felt inside. All those jokes must have been really hurtful for her.

I know I’m really a jerk for what I’ve done back then, and that it’s too late to be saying all this right now. But, I really hope I wasn’t like that. all those years back. I really want to do something to make it up to her, but I don’t think that anything I can do right now can make up to the hurt that she felt all those years back. I don’t think she’ll ever come across this, but I still want to say: Sorry Yi Jie, I didn’t saw what went wrong all those years ago, but today, your blog post told me what I did wrong. Your forgiveness may be too much to ask for, but I still hope for it…

I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you.