Re: You are not going to instill pain
First of all, she’s not my girlfriend, if we dated or she at least let me f*** her, this never would have happened. Second, I am absolutely succeeding in upending her life. This poor girl is already treated like a punching bag by the universe and is riddled with mental and physical health problems. She spends days isolated, stuck in bed, with physical problems and multiple serious emotional traumas not even related to me. In other words, she’s already battle-scarred and bruised to her core. She’s less of a battle hardened stoic warrior, and more of a fragile flower sitting in the shade. SO what do I bring to the table?
Denial, confusion, self-doubt, questioning if what is happening is unreasonable, wondering if they are over-reacting
Frustration
Guilt, embarrassment, self-blame
Apprehension, fear, terror of being alone or that they, others or pets will be harmed.
Feeling isolated and helpless to stop the harassment
Depression (all symptoms related to depression)
—->Anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia (frightened to leave the house, never feeling safe)>>Difficulty concentrating, attending and remembering things>>Symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress disorder e.g. hypervigilance (always on the lookout), flashbacks of frightening incidents, easily startled<<>>Insecurity and inability to trust others, problems with intimacy<>>Personality changes due to becoming more suspicious, introverted or aggressive<<>>Suicide thoughts and/or suicide attempts<<>>Gastrointestinal problems<<>>>Development or exacerbation of pre-existing conditions<<<<>>>>——Physical injury due to not concentrating or being under the influence of substances———-<<<<<
Heart palpitations and sweating
The arrows are confirmed effects.
If she would just abandon her ideals and her life and hand herself over to me, I'd change my tune in a hearbeat. But as is, I'm the only thing that can cast a significant shadow on her life. I can't just let her be happy, if I can't have her, I will make sure no one else can enjoy her presence without the endless taint of my malice. I'll stop when I finally get to touch her body, or y'know, she kills herself. It's a zero sum game. She chose this, not me. She came in to my life uninvited and destroyed me first, I'm just returning the favor.