As she held me my ex sis in law told me that she wanted to confess something. That some years before, since sisters talk, my ex wife had told her about how when I would want s** she would often have me latch onto her breast and suckle because one of three things would happen. Either my erection would fade quickly and completely, or I would get so caught up in the mind set of extended suckling that I would ejaculate spontaneously, and if neither of those things worked she would either have me thrust between her knees, and only if none of those things happened, she would give me the very brief (literally a few light strokes) h******* it took to make me c**. Ex sis in law even told me what I suspected, that my ex wife had basically used that means to avoid any other form of s**. Ex sis in law was telling me these things as she spooned me with her arm around my waist holding me tightly, and told me that she hoped I was not upset that she knew. I told her it was embarassing but nothing I could do about the truth. She told me that knowing her sister had handled me like that, and only rarely letting me go down on her, had made her feel sorry for me for years and that she knew that was why I had divorced. I told her that none of that had been the reasons for divorce, and that that past dynamic had been more fulfilling than she imagined, minus the total absence of f****** and the near total absence of getting to go down on my ex wife. She asked what the real reasons for divorcing her sister had been, and I told her I had no problem telling her but I was in no mood for the topic at that time, definitely not in the bed that we were sharing platonically. That I wanted nothing of her sister/my ex wife to be present in that place.
She was quiet for a bit and then told me that if it was any consolation she knew for herself that it was no fault of mine because I had been great at s** when I had been paying her for it until her recent arrest and her living with me. She told me that she did not want any ghosts between us either, that she had a fear that I was using her as a surrogate for her sister s******* when we had been doing that. I turned on her arms and had her lat her head on my shoulder and pulled her leg up over my thighs and suggested that we tackle het ghost openly and honestly, in the light of day. That we treat our platonically shared bed as our ultimate safe space. And that I would find a way to show her that my feelings and physical attraction to her were all about her and that her sister was never ever with me when I was with her, at any time. I woke this morning to her still clinging tightly to me, snoring slightly and a small puddle of her drool trickling across my skin. And I realized that in that moment I was far happier even in a platonic relationship with her than I had ever been in the years with her sister.
