Even though this happened when I was 18 or so, it bothers me still that I was such a freak. I was attracted s******* to guys, but I also liked women and knew that in my small town it was expected that I would eventually marry a woman. So, although I was bi with a propensity toward men, I was also confused about what I knew would make me happy and yet what society forced on me. (Younger people may not understand this since things are significantly different now)

So I would be on a date with a girl, stop at a roadside restroom pretending to need it, and have s** with guys while she waited in the car. If it took so long I would make lame excuses about getting involved in a conversation with someone or that it was really busy in there. She was naive enough to believe it. I used to borrow her car while she was in college classes during the day, drive out of town to a rest area that was known for gay s***** activity, spend the whole day there and then drive back home to pick her up when she thought I was out job hunting all day.

Eventually, we split, but I continued living a double life because of the stigma being gay held. I got married and that ended in divorce.