You’re an empath who hates herself, so the best way to hurt you isn’t to hurt you, you probably think you deserve it or try to shrug it off, it’s to hurt other people in your name. To force you to know that by saving yourself, you’re condemning innocent people to the same, if not a worse fate. If you had just submitted, one girl would have already been spared a worse fate than you. She got the brunt of it after you decided to hide behind the law.