UPDATE

I haven’t talked to my boyfriend in two months. I told him I needed some space. I haven’t been more happier. I’ve realized that having him in my life was a huge negative. The thought of having to talk to him again makes me depressed. He will be needed an update soon on where we stand, and I do not look forward to that call.

UPDATE: OK, so I still haven’t contacted him. I’m still happier than I’ve been in a very long time. But I am starting to miss him. Talking to him again will take a lot of energy I do not have right now and there are so many things I left unsaid due to his initial attempt to argue when I stated I needed space and I decided to end the call quickly since I was in the middle of a breakdown at that point and he just was not getting it so he kind of has no idea what’s going on. The thought of having to straighten things out contributes to the anxiety and stress. He’s an extremely difficult person to talk to and I’m really not sure if it’s because he just doesn’t get it or he’s gastlighting. I just don’t know anything anymore. I cannot read people anymore. Everything is so confusing right now. I do not want to have him sitting around wondering because I do care about him. I’m just not ready for the exhausting working of trying to make him understand but time is ticking.