I had uncontrollable pedophilic thoughts that were never really part of my actual s***** desires or wants. counseling helped me move past them and reduce the space they hold in my mind, but before then, back when they were still stronger, I would rage about pedophiles and how they were bad people. it was what I truly believed, but I feel like I should be… ashamed? for doing it while I was carrying the same thing in part of my mind? I know now that part of that was projecting my own self-disgust and mental stress of having that mental illness being part of my mind outward, but it wasn’t completely that. and part of me thinks I deserve to not be ashamed for having had that discord inside me? like, it wasn’t really hypocrisy? I don’t know. maybe there’s a way where I can feel better about this and leave the insecurity and guilt behind.