Struggling hard lately. I’m a victim of childhood s***** assault and I was raped as a teenager. I have issues trusting people. Feeling alone. I don’t really have people close to me that care. My parents don’t call unless the need something, my siblings are like strangers, and my husband is always grumpy and acts like I’m not important. I try so hard to keep a smile and but to be honest I don’t want to anymore. I’m only alive because I have kids. If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t still be here having to fake daily. It is overly clear that i don’t have a soulmate, that perhaps I’m too broken to be in a healthy relationship. Maybe I’m not worth actual love.