I will probably die by suicide one day. I think about it all the time. I should feel scared about that but I don’t, maybe because it’s entirely within my control, as opposed to being murdered, or getting cancer, or some freak accident.
I don’t know that I have a whole lot to live for in my own life, but I don’t want to break my dads heart. Or anybody elses, but for some reason the idea of doing that to him hurts the most. I also want to see my niece grow up and I want to protect her from everything. I love her so much it’s incredible.
But if you take that away and all I’m left with is myself and my life, it just isn’t worth it. Why am I even here? What the f*** am I doing?