Some days, voluminous s*** crackles from my a** in a warm, fresh, gaseous load. Other days, I strain to pass a pittance of pebble-like turds. Some days I ejaculate ropes of come four feet long, while other days I wear my p**** head down only to yield a pathetic dribble of s****.

I guess what I’m trying to say is there are good days and bad days.