How to Behave at the S*********
Tip #5: Don’t tell the dancer that she’s too smart to work at a place like this.
Erin Taylor
Erin Taylor
Sep 18, 2020 · 5 min read
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Photo by Ashley Byrd on Unsplash

My job as a stripper was always the least interesting thing about me; I was a twenty-something business woman with an MBA. But whenever someone in my “regular life” learned I was a stripper, they liked to focus on asking me about my worst experiences in the club. It seemed that most people were interested in only hearing the things that confirmed their twisted ideologies about strippers and s** work in general.

My response to someone asking about my negative experiences was always, “If you don’t mind, let me tell you the best part of my job. The answer may surprise you.”

My time as a young stripper was exhilarating; I had a flexible work schedule and financial freedom to invest and save. I made amazing friends and traveled the world. But the absolute best part of my job was my customers. As a psychology buff, exchanging life stories with my regular customers and getting to know the dedicated patrons of the s********* world was an enjoyable part of every shift.

So how does someone become a regular customer to a stripper? Well, you can start off by trying your best to be the most perfect s********* patron. We love these guys.

Here’s how you should behave in a s*********.
1. Tip her.

I know this feels like common sense, but you’d be surprised how many customers don’t tip.

Don’t be like those guys; tip your strippers. And your servers. And your bartenders. The beautiful women you’re there to watch are on the clock, and if you sit for hours without pulling out a single dollar, we notice. If you can’t afford to get a dance and tip, choose the tip. She’ll remember that you tipped and will be more inclined to come over and sit on your lap to thank you. But don’t be disappointed if she doesn’t offer you a dance for free. Respect her time — she’s there to work.
2. Stop pushing for her real name.

My real name is something that many customers wanted to know about me. My stage name varied at different clubs, but I always liked to use natural-sounding names. And sometimes I had to deal with the assholes who refused to get a dance without knowing my real name. On a slow night, I’d give them a fake name to get them to buy a dance; most of the time I would walk away from the conversation.

If someone is fixated on persuading me to share something I’m not comfortable sharing, it’s a massive red flag. If you feel entitled to my private life, you probably won’t respect me in a VIP room.

A s** worker will share with you what she’s comfortable sharing. Period.
3. Respect her boundaries and wait for her consent.

Every s** worker has different limits and boundaries. But consent still matters in a s*********. Just because we are nearly naked does not mean we’re okay with someone touching us where we don’t want to be touched.

If you are getting a lap dance, and she says that these are her limits, respect those limits.

(A secret from me to you: when someone is respectful of my boundaries and my body, I’m more inclined let them get away with a little extra as opposed to someone who tries to put his hands down my p****** before the first song has started.)

Things never end well for the guys that don’t respect their dancers. Ask her where you can touch her. I promise she will appreciate you because, unfortunately, not a lot of customers act like gentlemen in a gentlemen’s club.
4. Keep yourself so fresh and so clean.

S** workers who reveal nearly every inch of their bare skin on a nightly basis work hard to keep themselves clean and smelling good. We lotion ourselves up to leave our skin soft and inviting for you. We only wish our customers would do the bare minimum and put on deodorant before visiting us.

If you’re a customer who smells good, we will notice. And you better believe that we’re likely to let you get away with more because of it. Great smelling customers are my favorite! (Just don’t overdo the cologne, and we promise to stay away from glitter and potent perfume.)
And the most important tip to being a perfect s********* patron is:
5. Don’t tell her she’s too smart to be working there.

Please don’t try to save us. Trust me, strippers make a mental note not to dance for guys we call “Captain Save a Ho”.

If you try to give a stripper life advice to “help them get away from this dangerous lifestyle,” your dancer will go into the locker room and tell the rest of the girls to avoid you. That’s the truth.

When a customer insists on preaching about how the s********* isn’t a good place “for a smart girl like me” I turn into a smart a**. If they have a ring on their finger, I’ll tell them that it looks like they also have other places they could be and what a coincidence it is that we both ended up in a sinful place.

Once, someone told me I was too smart to work as a stripper and I explained to them that they’d spent $300 on me in the last 30 minutes. I wasn’t too anything to be working there, but I made excellent money because I was smart. (Not very many Captain Save-a-Ho’s liked that response.)

In all seriousness, please don’t take the holier than thou approach to talking to strippers. We really don’t like those guys.

At the end of the day, if you respect your favorite stripper, she’ll remember you. She’ll go out of her way to make time for you and she’ll choose you over any other customer. That’s the formula — be the best s********* patron you can be and you’ll leave the rest of the guys in the dust.

© Erin Taylor 2020. All Rights Reserved. Medium
Me: We don’t have strip clubs “here” Against the Law, even prostitution is frowned upon, you could easily find yourself, as a male, in a Police sting to catch you out.