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I s*** my pants at Valentine’s Day dinner with my lady tonight. After the soup course I went to “release some pressure” that was as building up in my stomach and immediately shitsoup shot out of my a*** onto my boxers and inside pant leg. I excused myself and as I walked to the bathroom aascheeks slammed together like two corinthian stone columns, more s*** seeped out inexplicably. I was in the bathroom for 15 minutes cleaning up.

Last time I ever take Coke Can C*** Cornelius up my shitter the evening before an important meal with my lady!

Corvallus Bronson Winslow

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