To: Right now, I wish I were dead. I’m stuck caring for a sick mom
Me: Ring Social Services in your local Government and see if you can have her put in a home, or, if you can get “Respite” leave from her.
If all else fails, set up a roster, when you will be available for her and when you won’t and don’t let her change your mind on this.
You should be able to get her to bed at a early time and you should be able to go out and socialize whenever you want, but especially in the evenings – if she has an iPhone and you have one too, she can call you if she needs you for anything, without you needing to commit to anything during your off times.
If you have your own bedroom, you could invite “guests” to visit you for whatever you are missing s******* and what you do in there is nobodies business but your own.
You have to make a life for yourself, outside the needs of your mother – you also have to learn how to be a third party in her care – you take one step back and look at her as a 3rd person, for your mother who needs limited care which you provide, but anything which can be offloaded on to her doctor or anyone else, you offload from your responsibilities and you don’t allow your emotions (or hers) to get in the way of your life.
Been there, done that with a female friend for 11 years – she was a manic depressive, had ever illness you could think of, had Retinitis Pigmentosa (blind), was a Hypochondriac and used “s***** cunning” to try and get her way – it did not work for me. If I can do it, so can you.
You have to remember that your father fucked your mother and they got you. You did not have any say in your creation, it was a biological event and as such, the filial connection between you and her is only the connection of you being her baby, way back when.
I have your back, I am here for you if you want to discuss ways and means to make your life more enjoyable for you. I am a Man – what s** are you, if so?
Richard