Become a Master of the C******* if You Want to Be a Better Lover
It’s the secret to pleasing a woman
Marie Lynne
Marie Lynne
Feb 2 · 5 min read
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Photo by g-stockstudio at iStockphotos

Until recently, we have mostly ignored the woman’s c*******, which is sad since it is the key to fantastic orgasms.
Discovering My C*******

I first discovered mine in my late teens. I’d seen pictures of it a few years earlier when I borrowed the book, Our Bodies Ourselves. My mother, a registered nurse, had suggested I read it. It provoked great discussions, such as about m***********.

But it wasn’t until I stumbled onto steamy romances that I became interested in this part of my anatomy. The hot descriptions of l********* aroused me enough to try something new. It was then that I slipped my hand between the crook of my legs and touched myself. I discovered my c******* could create the most incredible sensations.

My first o***** was a small, quiet affair. There was no panting or dripping sweat. I even questioned if it had happened. It took several more occurrences for me to realize that what I was feeling was a climax.

I wished I could say those early experiences were the beginnings of a lifelong love affair with my body. They weren’t. My explorations were furtive and done in secrecy.
A Steep Learning Curve to the C*******

My first serious relationship didn’t happen until after my second year of college when I met my future husband. The physical side of our relationship started early. Although we waited until the wedding for i**********, heavy petting began right away.

I soon discovered there was a steep learning curve to how I liked my c******* to be touched. My boyfriend would briefly find the right groove only to lose it. Each time this happened, all the built-up s***** excitement fizzled, and my arousal would have to start over. How each of us found the patience to stick with it until I climaxed, I’ll never know.

Sadly, it took most of our married life for him to learn the nuance of pleasing me. Not because it’s difficult for me to achieve an o*****, but because he was too self-conscious to remember what I liked. Since he was my first lover, I wasn’t sure if this was a common problem or something unique to him.

I became widowed and remarried a few years later. My second husband was a master at oral s**. I can’t begin to describe his ability to have me c****** in short order. Unfortunately, his skills with his tongue did not translate to his fingers. Despite this man’s vast s***** experience, he was no better with his hands than my first husband.

In my limited s***** encounters, I’ve noticed a trend. Most of the men I’ve met struggle to know how to touch the c*******.
About its Anatomy

The c*******, the female’s closest equivalent to a p****, is an organ about four inches long with over 8000 nerve endings. It is tucked inside the labia folds and extends into the upper part of the v*****. At the very top of the c******* is a bulb called the glans, which is extremely sensitive.

The c******* is the source of s***** pleasure for most women, and if not stimulated, we aren’t likely to be orgasmic. During arousal, the entire region flushes red with blood and becomes firm. Because of the c*******’ nerve ending density, each woman prefers a slightly different touch.

I imagine my c******* like a ski slope. The glans is at the peak. I only want it visited briefly and after I’m thoroughly aroused, due to its sensitivity. Base camp is at the bottom, down near the v*****’s entrance. I like it when my partner uses the pad of his finger to trace this slope. The top is too sensitive, but the bottom, not enough. My favorite spot is a low mid-section, not far from the base.
How to Touch It

There are different ways to stroke the c*******. You could move your finger in a downward motion from top to bottom, lift, and start back over again. Or move in the opposite direction from the bottom to the top, much like licking an ice cream cone. You could slide up and down or around and around, using lubricant to reduce the friction. You might try keeping your finger pad in one spot and move the surrounding tissue in a circular motion, my favorite.

Please remember to keep your nails trimmed short and filed. It’s essential to avoid jagged or sharp edges to avoid cutting or tearing this soft tissue. Just thinking about this is enough to make me shudder.

Pacing and speed are also critical. Does your partner like you to start slow and build momentum as she becomes aroused? Or does she want you to keep the same pace? How firm does she like to be touched? Maybe she prefers a light stroke that grows in intensity. Or perhaps she wants the pressure to remain the same.

Soft means very soft, and slow is her interpretation of the word, not yours. Don’t second guess, ask.
It’s Not a P****

For as much as the c******* seems similar to a man’s p****, it’s not. It would be easy to assume what works for men should for women. It doesn’t. Maybe a few women’s s***** preferences closely resemble a guy jerking off, but that’s only for a minority of us.

My late husband sometimes would take me in a version of missionary style. He’d hold himself up just far enough away so that he could fit his hand in between our two bodies. With his p**** still inside, he would put the pad of his thumb against my c******* and rub in a soft, slow motion. Soon he’d have me a panting, hot mess, and he’d grin, pleased.
Communication is Key

Society has put much of the responsibility for the couple’s s***** pleasure on men. Probably not fair or a good idea. It should belong to both people in the relationship.

Until recently, I’ve been too ashamed to complain, so I put up being s******* frustrated and hurt. Too often, I’ve been rubbed too hard, rubbed raw, and rubbed too fast. Sometimes I can barely walk the next day. But not anymore. These days I’m not interested in protecting my partner’s ego at the expense of my body.

That means I need to speak up more often for what I like. But there can’t be any s***** shaming. I don’t want to hear how I’m not like other women. And don’t tell me I’m difficult to please. The next guy who says that is going to be immediately thrown out of my place.

Here’s a secret to being a great lover: Learn to be okay with not being an expert. Come to the bedroom as a student of your partner’s body. Watch, listen, and pay attention to what she likes, and soon, you will be giving her the most amazing orgasms.
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