To: I masturbated with a cucumber and put it back in the fridge. I feel so bad. I would take it out but I don’t remember which one it is and there are so many. Someone’s gonna eat my p**** cucumber, oh my god
Me: Take it in turns to m********* with them all and then nobody will be aware of any funny tastes, if they all taste the same, nor will they look to you for an explanation!!
